i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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