you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
