Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
