I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
