I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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