How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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