thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
