Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
