guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
