There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
