what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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