haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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