I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
