you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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