South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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