As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
