do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Randomize
