On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
