I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
that may or may not have been my penis.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
