just tell him i said nine months
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
