My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
