They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This house was built for laser tag.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We need to get me chipped asap
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
