Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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