You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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