i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
