Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
