apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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