I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
