im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
