just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
