why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
