nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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