When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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