somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
