Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
