Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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