I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
