I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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