Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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