everyone is single if you try hard enough
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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