is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
