You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
