I think i peed on brittanys purse
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
