I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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