Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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