oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
