he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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