Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
