There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
