I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
