last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
