u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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