I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
