Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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